RaiseTheFloor

Every team has a personality.

Some teams are thundering in their volume, with enough energy to light up a room.  They are naturally connected, naturally together. That emotion energizes and inspires them.  They feed off competition, and public recognition. 

Other teams are quiet and serious. They do not need a speech every day, all they need are clear expectations and space to get better. 

Some teams respond when challenged directly. Others need to understand that you believe in them before they can be challenged by you.  

A coach cannot assume that what worked with last year’s team will work with the next one. Every group is different, and our responsibility is to understand the athletes we have and lead them. 

The standards don’t have to change.  The expectations to work hard, be accountable, support teammates, and represent the program well should not change based on the team’s personality.

The standard is still the most important thing, but the way we  teach those standards will change based upon the team each year. 

Team building begins with understanding the team we have, not trying to force it to be a replica of a team we coached before.

The longer I coach, the more I understand the need to be who my athletes need. It is different from team to team, and it is different from athlete to athlete.  For me being called out directly and bluntly was all I needed. I remember in a sales job a manager calling out a bad performance from the day before for my department. I wasn’t even there, but he stared at me during the morning meeting and said, “I’m just trying to motivate someone.” Within four hours of opening that day, my department hit its budget.  I’ve called athletes out the same way before.  Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. 

Even after 13 years I am continuing to learn how to reach every single athlete I coach,  and I will admit I lose sleep over not being able to reach some. 

Reaching athletes begins with recognizing that they are not all motivated the same way we were. As a teacher and a coach, my most important job is selling belief, helping students and student-athletes believe in themselves, their potential, and what they can become.  As a coach, I think this is one of my strongest traits because I truly believe in every athlete I coach and their ability to get better through effort.  But belief cannot be sold to everyone in the same way. What pushed me forward may cause another athlete to shut down. Some need a direct challenge. Some need a quiet conversation. Others need to know you believe in them before they are ready to hear where they are falling short.

Learning those differences is not about lowering expectations or telling athletes only what they want to hear.  This is a mistake some coaches make, a mistake I have made, feeding athletes comfort food to protect their feelings.  That protection hurts them and it hurts the team. It builds a coach into a likeable figure but that only goes so far.  

It is a balancing act a coach has to walk.  A coach must know when an athlete needs encouragement and when they need an uncomfortable truth. It is about building enough trust to deliver the message in a way they can receive it. A coach’s responsibility is not simply to say the right thing; it is to make sure the right thing is heard.

That requires a coach to listen, observe, and adapt. In some ways, it requires the ability to code-switch.

Code-switching does not mean becoming a different person or pretending to be someone the athletes will like. It means understanding that effective communication is not only about what the coach says. It is about what the athletes hear and those two things are not always the same. 

A coach may speak differently during an intense practice than during a private conversation with an athlete who is struggling. We may use humor with one group and directness with another. One athlete may respond to being challenged in front of the team, while another may shut down and need the same message delivered privately. Some athletes need energy. Some need reassurance. Some need the truth without any decoration. 

There will also be athletes we cannot reach. I’m not saying we should stop trying, but we cannot allow ourselves to lose sleep over it. That is a reminder for me as much as it is for anyone reading. 

The message we are sending does not need to change; the way we send it does. 

I’ve taught some of the same wrestling techniques over and over, sometimes to the same team multiple times. If something doesn’t stick, I change the way I teach it. I change how the message is sent; I don’t change the message. 

As a coach, I have non-negotiables: classroom attendance, practice attendance and participation, academic standards, picking up our trash, and helping others when we see the opportunity. Those expectations remain consistent every year, but how I teach, communicate, and reinforce them changes depending on the team. 

That is not lowering the standard. It is becoming a better teacher.

Too often, coaches become attached to a particular version of themselves. We decide that we are the loud coach, the tough coach, the calm coach, or the motivational coach. Then we expect every group of young people to respond to that identity. When they do not, we blame the team for lacking toughness, discipline, or commitment.

Sometimes the team does need to mature. But sometimes the coach needs to grow.

I had one of my alumni speak to my team one summer, and he said, “I know Teej is soft now because he has a daughter.” I laughed because I am a different coach now than I was when I coached him. He was a wrestler I challenged directly and bluntly. It worked with him, but it would not have worked with some of his teammates. 

Our job is not to prove that our preferred coaching style works. Our job is to reach the young people in front of us. If a message is not connecting, repeating it louder will not make the message land. We have to find a way to deliver the message.  

Think about our adult lives: some things are better sent in an email, some are better sent in a text, and some require an in-person conversation. We choose the appropriate method of communication. Coaching is no different. 

Adapting also means finding leadership naturally within the group. Every team does not have the vocal senior captain who commands the room. Leadership may come from a quiet athlete who never misses practice, an underclassman wrestler who brings energy, or someone who earned their teammates’ trust even though that person rarely speaks in front of the group. 

Seniority does not equal leadership.  Leadership cannot be forced.  I’ve tried making wrestlers captains to force them to mature with mixed results.  Sometimes it works and sometimes it goes terribly.  I learned the hard way that leadership cannot be forced.  I also learned you cannot always count on young people to identify the right leaders. 

If we only recognize leadership when it looks the way we expect, we may overlook the people who are already elevating the team.  Leaders can be created through regular recognition.  It is imperative that a coach makes sure younger athletes are looking up to the best examples of what the team standard is.  

While much of the responsibility for team building lands on the coach, that responsibility is also shared by the team. A coach should adapt to the team’s personality, but the team must also learn to operate outside its comfort zone. Adapting to athletes does not mean allowing their current habits or personalities to limit who they can become.  

Meeting athletes where they are does not mean leaving them there. It means learning who they are, establishing a connection, and then leading them toward who they can become. The destination remains the same, but every team may require a different route. 

Coaching is teaching, and good teachers do not teach every student in exactly the same way. They adjust their examples, tone, pace, and approach while protecting the learning standard. Coaches must be willing to do the same.

You cannot be a good coach if you are unwilling to become a good teacher. Knowing the sport is not enough. Demonstrating a technique is not enough. Giving instructions is not the same as teaching. If your athletes do not understand, connect with, or believe in your message, your job is not finished. You must find another way to reach them.  You must find another way to teach them.

Good coaches adapt their teaching; bad coaches blame their athletes. 

The standard remains the standard. Good teaching is finding the best way to help each athlete reach it.  Good coaching is finding the best way to help each athlete reach it. 

The culture belongs to everyone on the team. The coach establishes its foundation and protects its values, but each team gives that culture its personality and helps shape its direction.

Coaches cannot lower the standard to fit the team. They must learn each team well enough to help it reach the standard.

Coach the team you have, but build the team it can become.

That is how we raise the floor so our teams can reach their ceiling.